First of all, that title is not what I like to hear. I am generally not a patient person, at all. I want things to happen when I want them to happen and not anytime else. Sometimes (A lot of times) it’s hard to follow God’s plan (and timing) for me because I literally have my life planned out. Well, maybe not every second, but the big things. I know that my plan may not align with God’s and it’s sometimes hard for me to follow him, because I am a leader, not a good follower. So when God changes my plans, it’s difficult for me to handle, it’s like my life comes crashing down…Because I have my life built upon my own whims and dreams, not the solid foundation that God has planned for me.
Right now, in my life I am in the time of waiting. Nothing is really happening around me and I am almost to the point of adulthood yet still a child. I’m at that awkward in between. So you can imagine how excited I am to see what will happen in the future, who God has in store for me and what I will be doing. I try to rush things along, a lot. All too often I try and figure out what I will be doing for a career and I keep asking God what it is, but he doesn’t answer. Or so I thought. You see, I was so busy thinking about all the cool things I could do and the places I could go, even the simplest thing as what I will be doing next year. It didn’t leave any time for God. I was so busy talking to God and asking him things and I didn’t stop to listen. It was a one way street for me, and I liked it that way, mostly because I was scared of the word God would say to me. Deep down I knew what he wanted me to do, but I didn’t want to do ‘it’. I didn’t. I was like Jonah in the bible. I was running from God. I guess not literally, I wasn’t trying to get away from him or anything, I just didn’t want to do what he wanted me to do. Finally I did let him tell me what he had been trying to tell me all along. “Wait”. He told me to wait. He said, “Patience my daughter, all of these things will come to pass, but not until I allow them to do so.” And that rocked and shattered me. I fell to Jesus in defeat. I was wrong all along, but I didn’t want to admit it. I needed to wait. Wait for God’s timing. Wait for God. All these things will come to pass, but not until God says so. “Patience my daughter…”